I Suck

I have narcolepsy without cataplexy, which means that I start dreaming before I'm all the way asleep. Usually that means I sleep like crap, because my REM cycle is all screwed up. Sometimes those dreams (hallucinations, really) keep me from falling asleep, and leave me with some powerful insomnia.

Some of those insomnia nights mean I get absolutely no sleep at all. I mean, I pull an all-nighter whether I want it or not. That happens about twice a year, and it sucks, but I go home after work, go to bed, and I'm usually right as rain the next day.

But sometimes, every three to five years or so, the insomnia runs for a few nights in a row, and that's when it gets bad. I mean, I'm not sure I'm not hallucinating about actually writing this right now. And when it gets this bad, if I can't get some decent shut-eye, I start to exhibit symptoms of what some worthless Navy doctors called petite mal epilepsy, right before they gave me an honorable discharge and sent me packing. My body just says, 'look, bitch, if you're not going to let me shut down for a while, I'll do it myself.'

This would be one of those times. In the last 90 or so hours, I've been asleep for eight of them. In case you suck at math (and I do, especially when I'm so tired I can't walk a straight line), that means I've had a combined one full night of sleep in the last three. I'm effectively worthless at nearly any task, though I'm still going to work because what the hell, I'm awake anyway. The seizures haven't started yet, but they're not far off.

So tonight, I'm getting hopped up on over-the-counter sleep aids and going to bed. I hope to get about ten hours of sleep. But that means I'm not writing a review tonight, because it would be totally lame, and I would forget what game I had played before I got to the end of the review (I've already dozed off three times writing this lame-ass excuse).

Seriously, I'm still doing this. I'm still updating, and I'm still playing some of the worst games small press publishers can crap out, and I'm still just as cranky as ever (right now, more than normal). I know it's been a week since I wrote anything, but I'll have something Friday.